BBC: My Gift to Me

I've been sitting on an invitation to join the Black Belt Champions for nearly six months.
I really cannot explain why I didn't jump at the chance. I can think of excuses, but no real reason not to pursue it. It's an honor to be recognized and invited. Here's how the invitation reads:

Dear Barbara,

CONGRATULATIONS! You have shown the qualities needed to become a Black Belt Champion. We would be honored to have someone of your caliber become part of this special program.

It is our school policy to recognize commitment and dedication. You have shown a continued effort and improvement in your training. Becoming a Black Belt Champion is a very prestigious step in your Martial Arts training. It means that you have taken the first step in achieving your goal to become a Black Belt.

A Black Belt Club Member signifies a commitment to excellence, and the achievement of the coveted Black Blet. It is designed to underline that commitment and to encourage further personal development and motivation. 

Please let us know if you are interested in becoming a Black Belt Champion.  

Yes, there's a one-time fee to pay and yes, it does mean a $10 increase in one's monthly fees. You get a black uniform and you get additional training that includes learning weapons like the bo, double nunchucks, and other things.

In class on Saturday, which is always very large, I was the only one in a white uniform, though I was not the lowest belt. It is time for me to say yes to this invitation. So now I must "write a few lines explaining why (I) want to be a Black Belt Champion." I'm slightly ashamed to admit that writing those "few lines" is part of the reason I haven't moved forward in six months. I've been working on what I want to say and haven't yet feel like I've nailed it.
Hello, Perfectionism.

I want to be a Black Belt Champion because I'm ready to take the next steps in my journey toward becoming a Black Belt. Even at this stage I'm learning about the dedication it takes. For me, the biggest challenge is often finding childcare so I can get to class. Sometimes it just feels like too much effort, despite how much I enjoy being IN class.
I've been struggling of late with motivation. I am realizing that will never go away entirely. Accepting - finally - the gracious invitation to join the BBC is the boost I need right now. I feel renewed to keep up with my classes, and to continue to learn and improve.
I want to be a Black Belt Champion because it makes me a better person: happier, healthier, more grounded, more optimistic. And those qualities enable me to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, teacher, student, community member and citizen.
Thank you for the invitation. I gratefully accept. I shall continue to strive toward being a dedicated student and excellent representative of KMA.

There. Was that so hard?

Since today is my birthday I decided to give this gift to myself. Accepting the invitation and moving forward, with renewed motivation and dedication, toward my goal of becoming a Black Belt.