I learned a lesson so great this morning it moved me to tears.
I can do it and my team will be there to support me.
I set my alarm early so I'd have time to get up, use the bathroom, eat a little something, etc before I ran with the team at 8am.
But I went to bed late.
And when I woke up my throat was hurting.
And I was feeling a little shaky and not well.
And time was ticking and I wasn't going to have time to eat anything. Then my stomach got the best of me and sent me back to the bathroom.
Then I stood in front of the mirror seriously debating whether or not to run.
For a moment I decided I was going back to bed.
Then I decided I would just wash my face first in case I decided to go to class at 9.
Then I found I told myself I wouldn't run with the team, I'd just do it on my own. I don't want the whole team to have to stand around waiting for me to finish. They'll be polite but annoyed, I imagined.
Then I found myself putting on my running clothes. (But not my watch - again - which meant I'd have no way of timing myself accurately if I didn't run with the team.)
And then I was walking out the door.
I got to the park and only a couple of other candidates were there. Kevin was one. He was gracious in his enthusiasm that I made it out for the run.
Then it was time and I was off, at the back of the pack, per usual.
At least I'd already made up my mind that I was running 4 laps. I was not going to concern myself with my time. I need to get the distance up and then I can work on the time. I kept thinking about how I was going to get lapped by the kids (and I did by one of them). I didn't let it get to me.
The first lap was 5:00. Good.
Second lap was 10:05. Not bad and not surprising.
Third lap was... oh, gosh, I can't remember but I had definitely slowed down and I wasn't surprised. I was struggling a bit on the fourth lap. I considered walking, but coached myself to just slow down if I needed to.
As I was coming up on the last leg, there was Deb, cheering me on. Bill put out his had for a high five. Then they both fell in line next to me and encouraged me with both their words and their running to give it all I had. Then I noticed more team members up ahead. They fell in line too, and cheered me on. I turned on the speed. I used my arms to help my pace. Deb told me I had to beat her and I dug deep and I sprinted across that finish line.
19:47 (I think.)
I'd done it. I'd run two in under 20 despite my lack of intention and entirely because of my teammates.
The team split off to head to the dojang.
I sat in my car and wept.
I wept with relief and pride that I'd done it.
And I wept with gratitude for being part of such a beautifully supportive team.
