You can call me Bo Barb

On September 2, 2015 I earned my bo black belt. That is the penultimate belt to black belt. That means that the next belt I earn will be my black belt. 

Can you see in the photos that my name is embroidered on my bo black belt?

It's a big step. It's a big belt, so to speak. And so, in the next year, I will be working toward my black belt. First comes pre-qual (pre-qualification). That will be in August of next year. KMA does it twice a year, and the first one is in February, but you have to be a bo black belt for a minimum of 9 months before you can take the pre-qual test. 

I'm perfectly okay with that.  

I have already begun supplementing my KMA classes with some core work at home. (I can plank for a little over two minutes!). That is just the beginning. 

While I know I can run the 2 miles in under 20 minutes (a big benchmark for pre-qual), I've only done it once and I wasn't sure I was going to live to tell about it. 

They had a meeting for bo black belt students last Wednesday to give us an idea of what to expect and some advice about how to approach our training. All of it was very helpful. I feel like I have a huge advantage because of how much time I have to train - harder and better - before pre-quals.

One niggling thought that gives me pause is whether or not there will be any other adults who will pre-qual with me. There were only a couple of others at the meeting, and I'm pretty sure Mike and Kevin are going to pre-qual in February. (I try not to feel discouraged by the fact that the three of us were, at one point, progressing at the same time.) I am not crazy about the idea of being the only adult with a bunch of kids on the black belt cycle. : /  

I know I have to let go of that. There's nothing to be done about it either way. If I'm ready and I'm pre-qual and I'm the only adult, then, I'm the only adult. (What am I going to do, defer because of that? Newp!)

Anyway, I'm excited to up my training. I've tried to make it to the Advanced Class (open only to bo/black belts) on Wednesday evenings at 6 but I looked at the schedule incorrectly last week and showed up at 6:45; and then I was sick this week (which means I didn't get in my two classes or a run). :(

I have this running dialogue in my head with my instructors, wanting to explain to them why I wasn't there, or wanting to tell them about some triumph. But these conversations don't often happen. 

I wanted to tell them that I ran a 5k last week (the Alive & Running 5k that I've done for six consecutive years now). I usually run it in about 40 minutes. I don't ever keep track of my time because it just hasn't been important to me but now, with the increase in my training, it is. I ran last week's 5k in 34 minutes! Now that's not pre-qual time, but it's such a huge improvement over previous years and I was hardly trying! I say that not to brag, but as an example of how my measly efforts of running with KMA so far have had a big impact already! Just imagine what I'm going to be able to do when I run with intention and consistency!

Intention and consistency. 

Amen.

Seeing Red

I received my grading sheet on Tuesday.
"Going for red belt: Barbara!"
I was actually hoping he wouldn't say my name (though I was the only blue/black belt in the room, so I knew it was me.)
I don't recall ever feeling this way about testing.
I've felt nervous, but I've never felt as though they were making a mistake.
I don't feel like I'm completely ready!
I feel like I've JUST learned Tae Gae. I don't feel like I've been working on it forever (as I have felt with some previous forms). It's beautiful. And complex. I really love it, but I need more practice!
Here is one of my instructors, Sir Ken, performing it:

Now, I know they will never promote a student before she is ready. So what's missing here is only my self-confidence.
Why the difference now?
Actually, I know why. Because this is getting closer and closer to black belt.
After red belt is bo-black. Then black belt.
THAT'S IT.
I mean, that's probably a year and a half away, but I don't want to feel nervous like this moving forward. And what that entails is more practice. More dedication. More running. Getting there three times a week.
Right now I get there regularly on Tuesday mornings. I try to make it on Thursdays but I haven't been very successful. It's important to go at least twice a week; once on either Monday or Tuesday, which are the days when we practice forms. Then again on Thursday, Friday or Saturday for sparring. So I've been getting my forms classes. But I've been pretty remiss in getting to sparring classes. Both are important.
I don't really enjoy going on Saturday mornings for several reasons but right now they're all moot. I'm working on Saturdays but that's temporary. Fridays aren't actually full classes. There's a 30 minute "boot camp" followed immediately by a 30 minute weapons class. The weapons class is important. I need that for black belt.
But both Thursdays and Fridays classes are in the evening and I have trouble feeling entitled to go to those since it means leaving the kids during times when there is much to do and they seem to need a lot of attention.
I finally spoke to Aaron about it and of course he was supportive. I guess I just needed to hear it. So, I will be going on Thursdays for sure.
But how am I going to manage all this when it gets closer to black belt? Three classes every week. Running on Saturdays with KMA at the park. And all the rest of the requirements when you're in the Cycle.
My current mantra is "train like a black belt." That can mean many things, but one of them is making those commitments.
I work hard in class, keeping in mind that mantra, but outside of class I'm not doing what a black belt would be doing.
I guess that's why I feel inadequate at this point.
I'm sure I'm not alone.
But it's pretty scary, nonetheless.